Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
