I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
