I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
