i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize
