would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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