If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
