He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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