I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
