check it out our google latitudes are spooning
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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