I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
How external is "for external use only"?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
