I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
