What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's shark week go big or go home
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
