Buhtt sex?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
babies were throwing up all over the place
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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