never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Randomize
