he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
