Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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