Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
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My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
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Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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