Midget sex pt 2 tonight
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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