you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize