I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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