just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
