he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
