I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
