Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
