We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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