OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
