This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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