Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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