I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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