I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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