You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
