Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
