dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I need to stop coming to work sober
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
