i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize