I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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