I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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