OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
