Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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