Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
