he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
True college students do jello shots in the library
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
