but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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