normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
