did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
