there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
