I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
