soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
