I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
