the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
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I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
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you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
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