with your own penis?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
