I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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