I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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