if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I love how my cats smell like pot.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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