If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
