sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
