and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
And then he peed in my hair
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