i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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