It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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