TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
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