i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby