writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.