I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
