You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
