fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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