I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
