Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
