Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
