I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
