Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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